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Justin Timberlake is Bringing Sexy Myspace Back

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Justin Timberlake is Bringing Sexy Myspace Back

$1 million isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? Buying your own damn social media website, that’s cool. Former NSYNC member and actor Justin “Bye Bye Bye” Timberlake now has a minority stake in Myspace, after News. Corp recently sold the struggling social media website to internet media company Specific Media. “There’s a need for a place where fans can go to interact with their favorite entertainers, listen to music, watch videos, share and discover cool stuff and just connect. MySpace has the potential to be that place,” Timberlake said in a statement. Timberlake seems blissfully unaware about that other social media website, despite starring in a movie that focused around it. Timberlake will have his own office at Myspace and six loyal staff members, despite the rumors of massive layoffs within the company. Meanwhile, Facebook is rumored to file for public offering later this year, with its prospective value approaching $100 billion. Let me repeat that. $100. BILLION. Think of that money and what you would do with it. Chances are, whatever you were thinking about doing with it, barely puts a dent in it. You could buy an pure gold Olympic-sized pool filled with premium-grade Nutella and still have enough money for a stretch Hummer that can fly. And jetpacks. Thousands of jetpacks. Anyway, Timberlake is continuing to branch out into other forms of media, starring in a few upcoming films and creating a cologne and clothing line. I predict that it’ll only be a day or two until we see the “Timberlake Toothbrush,” which will play NSYNC songs with built-in speakers so we can listen to “It’s Gonna Be Me,” while we clean our mandibles. I, for one, look forward to having Timberlake in my mouth*. *FOR PURELY DENTAL HYGIENE-RELATED REASONS. Get your mind out of the gutter.

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