Everyone likes to look at technology in terms of how it will change the future. But I want to go one step further and ask, “how would it change the past?” Even more, how would some of our favorite fairy tales be different had they been written during the golden age of technology? Would Sleeping Beauty really lay in wait? or would the prince simply have seen that her status had gone to ‘sleep’? I do wonder….
10. Rapunzel– Rapunzel and the Prince meet on eHarmony. She is nervous about meeting, but finally invites the Prince to her tower. He shows up in hopes of a good time, only to find out that she is inaccessible. Fortunately the Prince is satisfied that she at least looks like her picture, so they swap Skype accounts and continue to chat via video. Their relationship grows stronger, and after a few months of legal litigation, Rapunzel is released, and the enchantress is charged with malicious activity. Everyone lives happily ever after.
9. Three Little Pigs– After watching HGTV, the three little pigs decide that they have the know-how to build strong and sturdy houses. So they do, only their houses are of poor quality. The big, bad wolf notices this, and decides to make a move on the pigs. But before he can, Extreme Home Makeover swoops in and gives each of the pigs a fabulous new home. The wolf still tries to blow the house’s down, but to no avail. Everyone lives happily ever after.
8. Goldilocks and the Three Bears– Being the foul mouthed and ignorant person she is, Goldilocks checks into the Bear’s house via FourSquare. On top of the ball, the Wee Bear notices he has been ousted as mayor of his bed. The bears summon the police via a home security app, and the police are on the scene within minutes. Goldilocks heads to prison, and the bears finish their leisurely stroll. Most everyone lives happily ever after… 7. Aladdin– After Aladdin meets Badroulbadour (or Jasmine in the Disney movie), and she believes him to be rich and powerful, the two head to go on a majestic ride to an exotic and foreign locale. They enter the airport, but Aladdin is flagged down because his passport contains incorrect information (as he is living under a false identity). Instead, the two go to Starbucks and watch the sunset over the Caspian Sea via free wi-fi. Everyone lives happily ever after. 6. Snow White– The greedy Queen goes to her trusty mirror and asks her famous question “mirror mirror on the wall, who in the land is the fairest of them all?” To which the mirror replies “Queen, you are full fair, ’tis true, but Snow White is fairer than you.” Upset and distraught, the Queen heads to her doctor and spends massive amounts of her fortune (because she is a Queen) on plastic surgery, and feels much better about herself. Everyone lives happily ever after. 5. Hansel and Gretel– After being lured to the woods by their parents, they skip the breadcrumbs and go right the the GPS on their iPhones. Upset that they cannot simply take their children out into the woods to die, the parents cancel Hansel and Gretel’s cell phone plan, only to realize that the money they save is enough to feed the family throughout the year. Everyone lives happily ever after. 4. Rumpelstiltskin- After making the wager with the gnome, the miller’s daughter realizes that she stands no chance of finding out Rumpelstiltskin’s name. So, she does what any self respecting person would do, and Google’s it. She stumbles on the Youtube video of a dancing gnome who is signing that his name is Rumpelstiltskin. Naturally, she is convinced his name is Rumpelstiltskin. And she was right. She is saved a lot of stress and worry. Everyone lives happily ever after. 3. Jack and the Bean Stalk– Jack goes to the market, see’s the beans on sale at the market and launches his barcode scanning app. Jack quickly notices similar beans on sale for cheaper at a market closer to his house. He takes his money and leaves. I suppose this isn’t a happy ending for Jack and his family, as they don’t reap the benefits of the Giant’s treasure, but this way the Giant doesn’t die. Everyone lives happily ever after. 2. Princess and Pea- Weary and soaked, the “Princess” takes refuge in the castle. Upon sleeping on the pile of mattresses, she becomes distraught and files a complaint on Trip Advisor. The prince receives an update on his Blackberry about the negative review. Upset, he marches into the room where the “Princess” complains about the bedding. He fixes the situation, and the two are left with a mutual respect that grows into a fond love. She redacts her negative review. Everyone lives happily ever after. 1. Three Billy Goats Gruff- The three goats go on their way to find some grass. Upon seeing the troll, the first goat Tweets that there is a troll under the bridge. He turns around and goes another way. The second goat gets the tweet, retweets it, posts it on his blog, and then turns around to find another way. Seeing the blog of the second goat on Diggit, the third goat posts it on his Facebook, and turns around and leaves. Upon finding some really good landscape, the first goat updates his status, inviting the other two to meet up with him. They do. Everyone lives happily ever after. So there you have it. Digital fairy tales…